Fill Their Love Tank

By: Jenifer Metzger

Jeff is a gamer. His wife, Jane, saw a game she thought he'd like. So while out running errands she stopped by the game store and made the purchase. When Jeff came home from work later that afternoon, he found the game sitting on the counter with a note from Jane saying, "Thought you would like this! Love you!" Jeff went to the bedroom where Jane was folding laundry and said, "Thanks for the new game," and then walked outside to care for the lawn. Jane stood there stunned. She expected Jeff to be thrilled with this gift and thankful that she was thinking of him. She expected him to draw her into a warm embrace and shower her with love.

Scott came home from work to find his wife Sally exhausted from a day of chasing toddlers and doing laundry. She looked tired and worn out. He noticed she hadn't started dinner yet, so he glanced at the calendar to see she had planned spaghetti. He decided to start a pot of water to boil and brown the meat. As he finished dinner and called the family to come eat, he waited for Jane to swoon seeing he had made dinner for her. Yet, as she sat down to eat, all she said was, "Thank you for making dinner." A simple sentence compared to what he anticipated.

In both of these scenarios, a spouse was attempting to do something special for their mate. While their mate appreciated what they did and said those two words, thank you, it wasn't the expected outcome. Was Jeff wrong to not act more excited over a gift given? Was Jane wrong for not melting at her husband's act of service? No. Why? They appreciated the gestures, however, it wasn't what fills their love tank. It wasn't their love language.

While Jane loves to give and receive gifts, Jeff's love language is words of affirmation. The gifts are appreciated, but what fills his love tank is when Jane tells him how much she appreciates him, when she reassures him of her love. Where Scott most appreciates acts of service, Sally craves physical touch. She appreciates his efforts in helping her, but feels most loved when he embraces her or kisses her forehead.

A person's love language is how they most feel loved. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the five love languages are Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time. We all have all five languages to a degree, but we all have one or two to languages that fill our love tanks the most.

My top two love languages are physical touch and quality time. I crave uninterrupted time with my husband and yearn for his touch. Whether it's watching TV while snuggled together or going on a walk hand in hand, my love tank is filled when he touches me and we get time together without distractions. However, those two are not his love language. He needs acts of service and words of affirmation. He feels most loved when I take something off his plate or encourage him with my words. I greatly appreciate when my husband buys me a gift, tells me he appreciates me, or does something for me. I am so grateful. However, it means so much more when he touches me and gives me his undivided attention.

It is vital to a marriage to discover your spouse's love language and then work to fill their love tank in ways they need. If they need physical touch, all the gifts in the world won't make them feel loved. If they need quality time, all the words of affirmation won't make them feel loved. Make the effort to discover what they need.

When both spouses work on filling their mate's love tank in ways that matter most to their mate, your marriage will flourish.

To find out more about the five love languages and to take the quiz to discover yours, click HERE.

Discussion:
1. Do you know what your love language is? Do you know your spouse's?
2. What is one thing you can do today to fill your spouse's love tank by using their own love language?

Names of God Series: "Being Cared for by Jehovah Jireh"

 By: Rebekah Hargraves 

Photo Courtesy of: Miriam G

"And Abraham named that place The Lord Will Provide, so today it is said, 'It will be provided' on the Lord’s mountain.” ~Genesis 22:14

While here in this verse we see the Hebrew name Jehovah Jireh being used for a place rather than a Person, it is nevertheless true that this name, Jehovah Jireh, has been used in reference to the Lord Himself many times since. And it just so happens to be one of my favorites of the Lord's names. 

The literal meaning of the name Jehovah Jireh is "The Lord Will Provide" or "God is our Provider in every situation". And I don't know about you, but I sure do find incredible comfort in this fact!

The context of the passage above is the instance in which Abraham was all ready, set, and prepared to sacrifice his son, Isaac, in obedience to God and God instead stepped in and, on His own, provided a substitutionary ram as the sacrifice instead. What a powerful example of how our God will provide! 

In fact, the foundation of our very salvation itself, the message of the gospel as a whole, is that God Himself provided for us His own Son as our substitute to die in our place. From the beginning, the Lord has always been our Provider.

Which brings me to this important point: if we can trust the Lord to provide for us a Savior and eternal salvation, can we not also trust Him to provide our every other need, as well? Can we not trust Him to provide for us financially; to meet our emotional, mental, and physical needs; to provide a way out in times of sin and temptation; to provide wisdom and direction when we need it; to provide help and hope when the world feels dark, confusing, and hopeless? 

The answer to this question is a resounding "yes!". We CAN trust Him! But let me ask you this follow-up question: do we trust Him? Do we trust Him to meet our each and every need while on this earth just as we do to meet our eternal needs one day in Heaven? And, if not, why not?

Because the fact of the matter is, He is our Jehovah Jireh, our God who will provide. And we can bank all our hopes and needs on that blessed truth.

Reflection Questions:

1) What thoughts and feelings arise for you when you think of God's name Jehovah Jireh and its meaning?

2) Are there any areas in your life that feel too big or too impossible for Jesus to provide and to come through for you?

3) What is causing this doubt?

4) What can you do about it?

A Place of Respite

 By: Joanne Viola

 

“Want to come over for Chinese food tonight?”

The question was asked Saturday morning after a most challenging week.

The table was set with paper dishes and disposable cups. The boxes of the selected Chinese food were set out on the table with serving spoons as we all sat down to eat.

After dinner, we played Uno and laughed ourselves silly as the canister spit out its cards on the intended player.

For a few hours, we forgot about the world outside our four walls. We breathed less tensely. Our worries temporarily slipped to the back of our minds.

As we parted for the night, we hugged and wished one another a good week; safety until we could gather again.

The places in which we gather, and invite others into, need to be safe places. Places that offer rest, refreshment for the mind and soul. They need to be places where the worries of the day can be set aside for even a short time.

Our places need to be a place of respite – where others can find temporary relief, even for a short time.

It isn’t about what out homes look like, or the presentation of food on our tables. It’s about extending the invitation into our space, and offering comfort and relief from the pressures weighing on our souls.

This is what Jesus offers to us as we come to Him:

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, 
and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, 
for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, 
and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) 
for your souls.” 
(Matthew 11:28-29, AMPC)

The words are so familiar, and are oft quoted. But they fell differently the next morning. Jesus bids us to come to Him, for relief and refreshment to our souls. He is our safe place, the table to which we can come to find rest from the cares which seek to weigh us down.

Jesus offered more than hospitality to those around Him. He offered a safe place to share their cares. He offered food for their bodies and that which nourished their souls. He spoke words of hope and encouragement.

May we be more like Jesus.
May our lives and homes be a place of respite,
offering relief, refreshment and rest.

 

Reflection:
How can you, and your home, become a safe place for your family and friends?

 

Photo by Ambitious Studio* | Rick Barrett on Unsplash

 

 

Hope in Uncertainty: These are Birth Pains, not Death Throes

  By: Lauren Thomas 

Have you felt disappointed with the news lately? How could you not? When we are inundated with stories of death and destruction, of murder and malevolence, how could we not feel disheartened, discouraged, downtrodden?

 

But there is hope. And we find it in Scripture.

 

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Romans 8:18-25 ESV

 

No matter what we see or hear in the news. Scripture reminds us that these tragedies are not the agonies of death throes, they are groanings of birth pains.

 

This doesn’t take away the heartache. People are mourning every day because of the effects of evil in this world. Tragedy and loss are terrible and hurt profoundly. But we must not lose hope. We must remind ourselves of this glorious truth:

 

These are birth pains, not death throes!

 

This is not the end. This is the unfolding of a glorious new beginning of which the children of God wait with eager expectation. For all things will be made new!

 

⁵ And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:5 ESV

 

We have grounds for great hope. Because we have the answer. We have redemption. We have a hope and a future. We have glory that is coming.  

 

Behold, he is coming soon. Come, Lord Jesus come.

 

Reflection:

Take some time to pour out your heart to God in prayer or journaling. What is troubling you? What fears can you cast on our caring Father? Then spend some time reflecting on any Scripture that the Holy Spirit is using to encourage you. How does the truth of Scripture change your perspective.

Guarding Our Time

By: Jenifer Metzger

Seek the Lord and His strength;

seek His face always.

1 Chronicles 16:11 CSB

When my kids were little and we were constantly running around between sports, music lessons, and church activities, to say life was busy was a vast understatement. At any given time we'd have three kids playing a sport, a kid or two in music lessons, and as staff pastors at our church we were consumed with preparations and ministry. On top of all that, my husband works a very physical -and mental- job and I was homeschooling and taking care of the house. Life was going ninety miles an hour.

However, we always made sure to have one night a week at home with nothing to do. We'd have dinner together at the table -not a rushed event to get to the next thing. We'd sit down and watch TV together or play a game. And we'd get to bed on time, sometimes even early. What night it was might change depending on the season, but we guarded that night closely.

Now that my kids are grown and we are empty nesters, we still guard our time closely. My husband and I make sure we always have at least one night a week that is just for us. We have dinner together at home, relax together, and get to bed on time or early. When it comes to our time, we are open handed to God, but close handed to the world. We do this for our marriage, our family, our mental health, and our rest.

Recently my husband and I woke up on a Saturday morning and got ready for our day, of course him finishing before me. Once I was ready, he said, "Let's go to the fair." So we promptly left for the fair. After spending a couple hours there, then visiting his brother and running an errand, we came home, had some lunch and took a nap. Then our afternoon was spent prepping things for church the next day and picking up the house. Around early evening it dawned on me that I never had my quiet time that morning. I just got up and went full speed ahead. All good things. All wonderful time spent. But none of it spent with God.

I got to thinking how closely I protect time with my husband and family and my rest, but am I protecting my time with God in the same way? I sure didn't that day. 

Our time is important, it is valuable. However, God is the Author of time. When we neglect to spend time with the very One who created it, are we spending it wisely? We need to be careful to protect our time with God. Intentionally scheduling time to spend in the Word and prayer each day and guarding that time.

Discussion:
1. Are you intentional with protecting your time?
2. What about your time with God? Are you purposely protecting that space?