Negative Self-Talk and God's Compassion

  By: Lauren Thomas 

Imagine a friend who is going through something difficult. What would you say to that friend? How would you respond to her? How would you meet her gaze and offer her kindness? Now, think about something difficult you are facing. What do you say to yourself? How does your self-talk speak about what you are going through?

For most of us, the answers to these two scenarios – how we respond to another’s struggle and how we respond to our own struggles – are close to being polar opposites. We know how to offer compassion to others. But we fail to give that same compassion to ourselves. We speak to ourselves in ways we would never imagine speaking to someone else.

 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Colossians 3:12 ESV

 

In New Testament epistles, we read exhortations to be compassionate toward others. Yet, that compassion is rarely turned inward toward ourselves. Instead, negative self-talk prevails. However, a lack of self-compassion is harmful, as negative self-talk is correlated to depression and anxiety.

 

Flipping the switch from negative-self-talk to self-compassion is not easy. And, some even feel it would be wrong to do so. Some believe that to be compassionate inwardly would mean that their motivation to improve would be stripped away. Others feel that they do not deserve to receive compassion. Still others think this idea is unbiblical.

 

However you feel about self-compassion, we believers can agree on this: Jesus is compassionate. Jesus was compassionate during His time on Earth, as seen in the Gospels. The Old Testament also depicts the compassionate nature of God.

 

If you struggle with negative self-talk, I want to offer you some strategies that will increase your sense of God’s compassion toward you.

 

1) Close your eyes and imagine Jesus sitting across from you, treating you with compassion. What does it feel like? What sensations does it cause in your body? What reactions do you notice? Engage in this exercise from time to time. As we become secure in the truth of God’s compassion, we will begin to experience change.

 

2) Next time you notice negative self-talk, invite Jesus into your thoughts. Ask Him to be a filter for your thoughts. Any words He would not speak to you Himself are words that are not allowed past Him. Jesus is kind to convict; but for those who have put faith and trust in Him, there is no condemnation or shame that comes from Him (see Romans 8:1).

 

3) Spend time becoming familiar with verses and passages of Scripture which show us the compassion of God – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (See below to get started.)

 

As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Psalms 103:13 ESV

 

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”

Luke 7:13 ESV

 

So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
    so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
    Blessed are those who wait for his help.

Isaiah 30:18 NLT

 

Reflection:

Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Think of a time you have experienced compassion from a friend. Have you experienced God’s compassion? Pick one of the above strategies to increase your sense of God’s compassion in your life.