Forgive and Forget

By: Grace Metzger

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another,
 forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Colossians 3:13

If you had asked me a week ago if forgiveness was strong suit of mine, I would’ve answered absolutely. With no doubt in my mind. I was so convinced that I was generous in forgiving others. I knew how to forgive others and how to let go of hatred and anger in my heart.

However, what I discovered recently is that I have so much more to learn about how to forgive others than I could’ve ever believed.

For if you forgive others their trespasses,

your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 6:14

Growing up, I heard the phrase, “forgive but don’t forget.” I heard this from people, on TV, even heard fellow Christians talking about forgiving others but remembering the wrongs they’ve done. I spent most of my life believing that I was to forgive but always remember. I told myself that I could forgive you, but I would never let go of what you’ve done.

But now, it’s got me thinking -is that even forgiveness? What is forgiveness if you’re holding someone's sins above their head, reminding yourself constantly of how they’ve wronged you? I don’t believe remembering and holding onto someone’s wrongs and never letting go is right. Some might call me foolish saying that I’m allowing people to walk over me and mistreat me, but you can still set a boundary not allowing someone to walk over you while still forgiving and letting go of their wrongs. 

And Jesus said, "Father forgive them,
for they know not what they do."

Luke 23:34

When I was thinking about forgiveness, my first thought came to how Jesus would approach forgiving the soldiers who hung him on the cross. If they asked God for forgiveness, would He constantly remind them of what they’ve done to Him? Would He hold it above their head how they hurt Him and murdered Him? I don’t think He would. I can’t say I know exactly what God would do, but I can say that I believe the second the soldiers ask God to forgive them for what they’ve done he would instantly let go. I believe His would welcome them into His family with open arms, because His love for them was so great that He can forgive even the worst pain that others have caused Him. 

If Jesus can forgive the people who whipped, beat, and murdered Him, then why can I not forgive others who have wronged me? If I’m truly to try to be like Jesus, then I should strive to forgive, forget, and let go of the past. I’m not saying you should allow people to consistently hurt you. I’m not saying that there should never be any boundaries for people, but I am saying forgive and let go of hurt and welcoming others with open arms. It’s going to do me so much more good than holding on to anger and hatred and unforgiveness.

The peace that comes with forgiving is not a small thing that we can overlook, but rather a great thing that can transform your life. That can help you go from being angry and hateful to showing love that God has shown you and to offering true forgiveness. God forgives you and I every single day. It is up to us to show others the same forgiveness. 

Discussion:
1.) Do you struggle more with forgiving others or letting the hurt go once you forgive them?
2.) How do you overcome the struggle of forgiving and forgetting hurts from those who wrong you?