Forgiveness Is Not...Avoidable

By: Lauren Thomas

Part of the human condition involves being wounded in relationships, being hurt by people we have loved and continue to love. It is unavoidable. For the Christian, another aspect is unavoidable: the necessity to forgive.

 

¹⁴ For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, ¹⁵ but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 ESV

 

Our very forgiveness from God is dependent upon our forgiveness of others. As painful as it can be, as much as we might want to find a loophole, forgiving others is necessary and unavoidable.

Why? Jesus explained this to his followers, and we can read about it in Matthew 18:15-35. He told a parable about a man whose master forgave him of a great debt. But as soon as this man was released, he demanded payment from his peer for a much smaller debt. When the merciful master heard about this, he put the first man back in prison and held the debt against him once more.

 

Our debt of offense (sin) against God is much greater than anyone’s debt of offense against us. Why would God want to forgive someone such a great amount when they, in turn, are stingy with their forgiveness? How can we expect God’s forgiveness when we hold grudges against others? Why would our generous God expect anything less than our generous grace toward others?

 

Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us about the root of bitterness that can grow down deep when we fail to live in forgiveness. Ephesians 4:26-27 warns that Satan gains power over us and our lives when we live in anger and unforgiveness.

 

Finally, unforgiveness in one relationship causes problems in other relationships. When we live from a place of woundedness, the bitterness we carry impacts the people around us. Unforgiveness robs us of joy. It leads to pride and entitlement. Unforgiveness distorts our perceptions, and results in stunting our empathy. Hurt people hurt people. And the longer we live that way, the more damage we do.

 

During the month of November, check Woman to Woman Ministries on Fridays to learn what forgiveness is and isn’t, and to get practical steps to engage in forgiveness of others

 

Reflection:

Why does our Father require us to forgive others? Is there unforgiveness present in your life? Examine your heart for any old wounds that are still tender. Perhaps there is something fresh that needs to be healed through forgiveness. Who are the people you struggle to forgive? Ask Jesus for help forgiving these individuals.