Walking by Faith in Motherhood

 By: Rebekah Hargraves

Photo Courtesy of: Priscilla Du Preez

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." ~James 1:5

As you may remember from week 3 of this miniseries on motherhood, we already talked about how the Lord's design for motherhood and His list of instructions for us as moms is so much shorter than the man-made one thrown at us by the culture. Today we will be following along those lines once more, this time digging a bit deeper and focusing on another reason why the mommy wars are so harmful:

They are keeping us from walking by faith.

How can this be? Well, according to the mommy wars culture, "good" moms do xyz.... (you fill in the blank). Again, we touched on this a bit back on day 3: the belief that to be a good mom you have to breastfeed (or not, depending on who you ask), vaccinate (or not), homeschool (or not), and the list goes on. One of the main problems with this is that such a belief system (if we're not careful!) can result in our following after the generalized (and yet subjective!) wisdom, expectations, and advice of man, rather than on the unchanging, perfectly-tailored-to-your-own-unique-family, infinite, infallible wisdom of God.

Here's what I mean: let's say you (as I did with my son, James, for 13 whole months!) have a child who refuses to sleep through the night. What do you do? Well, if you're like most mamas you will hop on Amazon for the latest and greatest book on getting your child to sleep. Or perhaps you will Google "How to get your baby to sleep" and read through the limitless (and often contradictory!) opinions of mama bloggers everywhere. Maybe you will even reach out to your mom, mother-in-law, sister, or best friend and seek their advice.

But do you go to the Lord and ask Him what you ought to do? Chances are, you don't (or it's at least not your first course of action). 

Not before you feel all condemned (remember last week's portion of the series? ;) ), please know that I am preaching to myself here. Being the bookaholic I am, my first thought is oftentimes to find a book on the topic at hand! But the Lord has been teaching me in recent months the huge importance of followers of Christ actually walking out their faith by walking by faith. It's convicting, but it's true: this should not be a new or foreign concept to us. Walking by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7, Hebrews 11:6), walking by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16, 24-25), seeking the Lord's guidance and wisdom (Proverbs 3:5-6) should be second nature to us - they are very basic and foundational aspects of the Christian life. And yet we forget that when it comes to the questions, struggles, and conundrums of motherhood.

Here's what I want to encourage you to do today, mama:

Begin right here, right now, to purpose in your heart to mother by faith. Because walking by faith is part of God's design for you not only as a Christian and woman of God, but also as a mother.

What would that look like, you might ask?

Here are some examples:

• When experiencing a discipline issue - before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and direction as to what to do.

• When facing a feeding issue with your baby - before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and direction as to what to do.

• When trying to decide which schooling option to choose for your child - before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and direction as to what to do.

• When wallowing between the choice to vaccinate or not vaccinate - before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and direction as to what to do.

• When trying to decide which activities (if any!) to have your children in this year - before you do anything else, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and direction as to what to do.

• I think you get the point. ;) 

What we oftentimes forget is that the promise of James 1:5 is a promise to us:

 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." (emphasis added)

Here's why this is so important for us to remember: God knows you and your children better than anyone - after all, He was the One who created you both, and infused you with unique personalities, talents, strengths, weaknesses, giftings, passions, and needs. Because of that, it is absolute folly for us to think that following after the advice and wisdom of man would hold a candle to the wisdom and direction of God Himself!

Now, it is true that the Lord does use humans to impact and change our lives for the better. We do know that to be the case. But with so many conflicting parenting studies, expectations, beliefs, answers and nuggets of advice out there, how can you know which one to implement or whose advice to follow apart from the Lord's guiding you in that direction? This is why it is so important to go to God first, to walk and mother by faith, believing that the Lord will light up the next step we are to take down our path of motherhood. That is the crucial first course of action.

This is why I'm so passionate about encouraging women to be Spirit-filled in their daily lives, walking by the Spirit and being led by Him. That is the only way we can avoid error and wrong choices in our mothering. In fact, this is actually part of God's very design for motherhood - that it would bring us closer to Him and be a tool to further us along in the sanctification process. That's better and more helpful that anything Google could turn up for us!

So, no, "good" moms don't follow the arbitrary "xyz" rules of mommy war culture. They follow the direction of God for their own lives.

Questions for reflection:

1. Which is your tendency - to walk by faith, always seeking the Lord's wisdom and direction first; or seeking out the wisdom and advice of man?

2. How has this tendency of yours worked out (or not!) in your own life with your children?

3. How does the truth of Hebrews 11:6 ("But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.") impact how you view the decisions you must make throughout your journey as a mom?

4. How can you encourage another mama today to mother by faith?