On Spiritual Mothering

 By: Rebekah Hargraves

Photo Courtesy of: Joel Muniz

 "I’m not writing this to shame you, but to warn you as my dear children. For you may have countless instructors in Christ, but you don’t have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel."

~1 Corinthians 4:14-15

Perhaps you have noticed this just as I have: there is a myth that we oftentimes inadvertently buy into which says that mothering is strictly biological. Or at the very least reserved for those who do have children of their own, either through biology or adoption/foster care. But I propose to you today that this is not the case. Mothering is a spiritual endeavor, too - not merely a parental one. 

Two mama friends and I went through Gloria Furman's book Missional Motherhood years ago and in it, Gloria, too, points out that "Mothering (or nurturing) is a calling not just for women who have biological or adopted children. Mothering is a calling for all women. Every Christian woman is called to the spiritual motherhood of making disciples of all nations. Our nurturing is, by nature, missional."  Paul makes this point himself when he refers to the Corinthian people in 1 Corinthians 4:14-15 and Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:2 as his "beloved children" and "true son in the faith", respectively.

The work of mothering is not strictly reserved for those who only have children of their own either biologically or via adoption. Mothering is, as Gloria said, all about the work of nurturing. It is about training, instructing, molding, guiding, leading, and caring for those God puts into your life - whether they are your own children, your friends, the women at your church, your next door neighbor, or the woman at the grocery store. 

Why is this important to understand? Well, it's important because remembering this truth leads to our actually managing to include single and childless women in a way we oftentimes fail to do when mothering your own children becomes "a woman's highest calling".  To view physical motherhood as a woman's highest calling in life leaves our single and childless sisters out of the loop, feeling as if they can't live out "biblical womanhood" because they aren't moms. But, here's the thing: if they are seeking to minister to and nurture other women in the truths of God's Word, then they are moms! They are spiritual moms doing the exact same work that fathers are commanded to do in Ephesians 6:4 - to bring others up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. To do the Great Commission work of making disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). To sacrificially serve others and place the needs of others above their own needs (John 13:14, Philippians 2:3).

Sound familiar? That's because the very work we do day in and day out as moms to our own children is much the same as the sacrificial work that we also do in making disciples of other people. We are all, therefore, mamas in the full sense of the word as we dedicate ourselves to pouring out on others the love and truth of God. And that should be quite the comforting, encouraging reminder for any Christian women out there who have no children of their own but are yearning to mother. Remember - as you live your daily life as a minister of the gospel (Romans 15:15-16), you are already mothering, because mothering is spiritual more than it is anything else.

Another reason it is important to remember that mothering is spiritual is because it's not only an encouraging reminder for childless women; it's also a helpful reminder for women with their own children, as well. Maybe you can relate to this: sometimes I get all caught up in the dishes, the sibling squabbles, the laundry, the toys, the endless needs, the cooking, etc., that I look at the here and now and subconsciously think this is all there is. I begin to think that motherhood is comprised solely of the dishes, duties, and drudgery. But that is precisely when I need to look up, fix my eyes on Christ, and remember: mothering is spiritual first. When I just remember that, I am then able to find so much more overarching purpose in the work I do. I begin to see a bit more of the big picture perspective God has for my everyday work. And that, my friend, is a blessing to behold!

Questions for reflection:

1. What about you? Have you ever before realized the true spiritual nature of mothering?

2. How can this perspective impact your day-to-day life as a mom?

3. How does 1 Corinthians 4:14-15 which says, "I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you. For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel", change the way you view not only mothering, but also the work of the ministry as a whole?

4. When you read Genesis 1:26-28, what stands out to you about the command to Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it"? How can even single and childless women apply that to their own lives as they seek to mother disciples?