It's not Punishment

 By: Grace Metzger

But we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces
endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope
and hope does not put us to shame. Because God's love has been pour into our hearts.

Romans 5:3-5 ESV

Recently I was on TikTok doom scrolling, yes I know it's an awful habit, when I came upon a TikTok that my sister reposted. This was a clip of the show "The Chosen." A show that follows the life of Jesus Christ. I've never watched the show fully, but I couldn't scroll past this clip. In this show James is disable, he has problems walking, forcing him to utilize a stick to walk, and he struggles to keep up with the other disciples. Jesus told James that God could heal him and it would make a great story, but that God had bigger plans then that. He talked about how much greater his story will be, someone who suffered but kept hope in God.

I myself struggle with a chronic illness; walking, running, and doing other things that come easy to others are hard to do for me as they are painful and, in some cases, impossible. I grew up like this, I remember having to sit out while others played. Remember helping pass out flyers at church where I was slower than everyone else and had to take breaks often. So this clip has been on my mind everyday. 

I've had people pray for me, people who are incredible prayer warriors place prayer oil on my head and gather around me to beg God to take away this illness. I've always heard people say, "God's going to heal you, you just have to believe," or "If you ask, God will deliver." So imagine the pain of it never happening, imagine growing up hearing people talk about a healing only to never see this miracle. 

I'm not the only person who has struggles like this, not the only person who had believed that God can heal them only to never be healed. The guilt that comes with that, with the thoughts like, "What if I don't believe enough? What if I'm not good enough."

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not

worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us

Romans 8:18 ESV

Suffering is not an indication that you don't believe. Sickness does not mean you are not good enough. God does not punish us just because we are not good enough, if that were the case then every single person on earth would be sick. Just because you haven't been healed or you are still suffering doesn't mean you didn't believe enough.

Take Moses for example, he had a stutter. Moses struggled speaking in front of large crowds, which could have made speaking to Pharaoh in front of everyone seem almost impossible. God could have just taken it away, God could have made him speak perfectly with no issues. But instead, God used this to bring others up, because of this Aaron, was able to speak for Moses. Because of this Aaron got to be apart of the amazing works of God.

There is nothing wrong with you, God isn't withhold helping you as some form of punishment. I can't say I know what's God's plan, I can't tell you what's going to happen. But what I can tell you is that God has a purpose for everything that happens. He is going to use whatever happens to lift you and others up, and to glorify Him. So stand strong! Don't allow others to shame and sadness to cloud your belief! Remember God has a plan for your life, a plan to prosper you! A plan for hope and a future.

Discussion Question: How do you stand strong in belief when your suffering is becoming too much?