Brothers and Sisters in Christ

 By: Rebekah Hargraves

Photo Courtesy of: Obed Hernández

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is 

for brethren to dwell together in unity!" ~Psalm 133:1

Ever since the fall, there has been an all-too-common undercurrent of awkwardness and strife between men and women  - the "war between the sexes", if you will. When Adam tried to blame Eve for his own sin (see Genesis 3:12) and God later stated that a result of the fall would be that women would have an inordinate desire for men and men would rule over women (see Genesis 3:16), we have battled issues of various kinds in our relationships with the opposite sex. 

Commonly, these issues fall into one of two extreme camps. On the one end of the spectrum is the lie that women are not only equal to men (which they are!), but are, in fact, superior. That not only should men not "rule" women (which they shouldn't!), but that women should rule men. That men are good for little and only ever interested in subjugating and subordinating women. 

On the other side we see the belief that men are, in fact, to rule over women. That women are only ever interested in throwing off all constraints and disregarding any and all authority in life. That women, through immodesty, indiscretion, seduction, or simply by the fact that they are, by nature, women, are to be blamed for the lust problem men sometimes have. That sometimes cases of abuse towards women can and should be kept hush-hush and disregarded. That to speak derogatorily about a woman's body is acceptable banter. 

Neither of these extremes is how God designed things to operate, however. Nor are these beliefs and behaviors anywhere close to His will for His sons and daughters; He has something so much better and far richer for us than we may be accustomed to. 

So, what do you say we dive into God's Word together to discover what that "something better" is?

Here is a sampling of a few of my favorite passages on this topic:

 

"For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another....Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;" ~Romans 12:3-5; 10

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." ~Galatians 3:28

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” ~John 13:34-35

 

"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." ~Galatians 5:13

"There should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it."  ~1 Corinthians 12:25-26

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is 

for brethren to dwell together in unity!" ~Psalm 133:1

"f someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also." ~1 John 4:20-21

" Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God" ~1 John 3:1a

"having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will," ~Ephesians 1:5

"The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together." ~Romans 8:16-17

Because we have been adopted into the family of God as children of God, Christians are referred to as being each other's brothers and sisters. This is the kind of relationship the Lord desires for us as men and women. Not an adversarial, distrusting, disrespectful, hierarchal, unequal kind of relationship. But one of familial love, concern for one another's well being, characterized by looking out for each other's best interests, protective, encouraging, upright, and supportive. 

That, my sister, is what we should be aiming for in our interactions with men and the way we view them. We simply cannot cultivate and enjoy this kind of brother-and-sister bond with one another when we are clouding our minds with false ideas about manhood and womanhood. When men are viewing women as seductresses or subversives, they cannot be viewing them as sisters as God intended. When women are interested in making up for years of patriarchy by ruling over men, they are incapable of viewing men as brothers as God desires.

This is why I am so passionate about equipping women to be able to come to a thoroughly biblical understanding of womanhood - because what we think about our design as women in correlation to men affects everything - not the least of which being our relationship to one another as members of the Body of Christ.

Here's the thing: the enemy cannot stand it when the Body of Christ actually acts like the Body of Christ - when God's people are working together, pursuing unity, cultivating love and peace, building one another up, rejoicing with each other, bearing (not belittling!) one another's burdens, encouraging each other, and pointing each other more and more to the Lord, His Word, and the gospel, the impact is huge! The enemy knows this, so it is always ever his intention to sow discord in the body through a misunderstanding of men and women and their God-given design. The enemy wants there to be a hierarchal structure, a distrust, a disrespect, a fighting back and forth between men and women in the church. But our great God and Father has something so much better and far more beautiful for us.

The question is - are we willingly to lay hold of it? Are we willing to do what it takes to embrace and live it out? Or are we going to be content to remain in our old ways?

 

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Questions for Reflection:

1. How have you seen a wrong view of manhood and womanhood negatively impact relationships between men and women in the church?

2. What has your own personal experience been in this area?

3. How does Galatians 3:28 ("There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.") impact your understanding of today's topic?

4. What is one thing you are going to seek to change today about how you interact with the men in your community?