6 Ways to Grow in Your Marriage

By: Jenifer Metzger

If you are married, you know that a marriage is full of peaks and valleys. Some seasons are full of good times and deep love. Other seasons it's downright a struggle. Whether your marriage is on the highest peak or the lowest valley, one thing we all have in common is that we can choose to grow in our marriage.

Today I want to share six areas of marital growth that you cannot afford to look past.

Pray harder over your marriage and for your husband.

Are you a praying wife? Pray harder. Is prayer for your husband and marriage something you haven't really done? Start. Intentionally pray daily for your husband and your marriage. I don't mean prayers of "Help him to not be so selfish," or "Make my husband romantic," or "Show him that he needs to help with the kids and house more." No. I mean prayers that God would help him to have a sound mind, prayers for his health, prayers over his relationships, prayers that he would desire to be a Godly man, those kind of prayers. You are the only one who can pray for your husband in this way and you are likely the only one praying over him. Your prayers are vital.

Date your husband more.

Date your mate ladies! My grandparents had eight children. Their lives revolved around their children and their work. Once all of their children were grown and out of the house, my grandparents didn't know each other anymore. Their marriage was on the brink of ending. Your children will one day grow up and move out of your home. If you don't date your mate and spend real time with each other truly getting to know each other and growing in your relationship, one day you will look across the table and see a stranger. Not sure how often to date? Do what works for you. If you can date weekly, do it! If monthly works better for you, do it! Every six weeks, do it! Whatever it is, just be intentional about dating. A date doesn't have to be a bank-breaking event. Find things to do that are inexpensive or even free. My husband and I love doing things like driving around to garage sales, picking up our favorite restaurant and taking it home to eat while we watch a movie together, or getting ice cream and going for a drive around the lake. Whatever it is, just do it.

Intentionally think of him throughout the day and let him know you were thinking of him.

Daily activities keep us so busy. We need to intentionally think of our husband throughout the day. When you are at the grocery store, pick up his favorite candy bar. When you wash his clothes, go back to the prayer point and pray over him. When you walk past your wedding photo hanging in your hallway, pause and think of the day, then text him and let him know you are thinking of him and you love him. Those little moments of thinking of him throughout the day bring a sweet romance to your heart and -let's be honest here- can help later on in the bedroom.

Read marriage books by trusted pastors and authors.

There are so many great books out there on marriage. There are also so many books out there that do not hold good, Godly advice. Seek out books to read by pastors and authors you trust. And most importantly, always measure the books against the Word of God. Don't have the time to stop and read? Totally okay! Audio books and podcasts are great! You can listen while you go about your day. I love listening to podcasts while in the car or cleaning the house. Just a few of my favorite marriage books are: Power of a Praying Wife, Love Dare, Kingdom Marriage, Uncommon Marriage, The Marriage Devotional, and The Marriage You've Always Wanted.

Become your husband's biggest cheerleader.

The world isn't always nice. Your husband likely deals with negativity all day at work. Maybe a boss who isn't always kind or co-workers who don't treat each other nice. Maybe you have neighbors who aren't very friendly. Or maybe he has family members who don't treat him right. There are so many chances for negativity to enter your husband's heart and mind throughout the day. This is where you can help. Become his cheerleader. When the world throws him negativity, you praise and encourage him. Tell him that you are proud of him and that you appreciate him. Point out his good qualities and hard work.

Be kinder to your husband.

It's easy to take our frustrations out on our husband. When we are upset with something not going right or the kids not listening, it's easy to spew that anger on our husband. He's just there which makes him an easy target. Let's strive to be kinder. To use kind words and to not take out frustration on him.

Marriage is a life-long covenant, so why would we not want to work on it and grow?

Discussion:
1. Which of these do you struggle with the most? Are you willing to work on it?
2. What other ways do you work on your marriage?