Homemaking God's Way: Your Husband

By: Jenifer Metzger

Today as we continue our series on homemaking God's way, let's discuss how your husband fits in the mix of homemaking.

A dear friend of mine used to say, "The woman of the home sets the tone of the home." There is much truth to that statement! She sets the tone because she is the homemaker, the maker and keeper of her home. If you have a job outside of the home, whether full time or part time, you are a homemaker. If you work from home, you are a homemaker. If you do not currently do any other work, you are homemaker. If you have a home, you are a homemaker.

I have the beautiful privilege and blessing of being a full time homemaker. Other than our church ministry and my online ministries, homemaking is solely what I do. But it wasn't always that way. The first year of my marriage and the first six months of motherhood, I worked outside my home. This meant my husband and I had to work very closely as a team in order for our home to function properly. We got off work roughly the same time so we came home and cooked dinner together, then cleaned the house together, dividing up the chores. We worked hard and fast so that we could still sit down and enjoy the evening together before bed. It was hard, I'll be the first to admit it. But that is just the way it had to be. This is why I feel blessed to be a full time homemaker now.

Now, I am able to take care of things during the day, so when my husband comes home in the afternoon, everything is done and we have the night together. The only things that get done in the evening is cleaning up after dinner and everyone pitches in for that.

While I am a full time homemaker now, my husband still fits into the mix. Just in a different way.

If you and your husband both work outside the home -or if you work a career from home:

Talk to your husband. Openly and calmly discuss working as a team and splitting the household duties. It could mean you cook and clean the kitchen while he catches up on the laundry. It could mean you alternate nights. Maybe weeknights are for relaxing and Saturdays are spent on household cleaning and laundry. You may prefer to do all of the cleaning and while your husband takes care of the kids. Each home and family will look different. It is important to discuss the roles and make it fair for all.

If you are a full time homemaker and your husband works outside the home:

Talk to your husband. Ask your husband to list 2 to 4 tasks that he sees as the most important. For him, he may want the floors swept and vacuumed every single day. Or he may want his clothes ironed each day. Or perhaps your husband likes the house dusted and with a candle burning each day. My husband likes to have his work clothes washed and ready for the next day and his lunch ready. This makes work mornings easier for him. Each of our husbands will list different things. They are different men. But ask his opinion. Take the list of 2-4 things your husband likes done each day, and be intentional about completing them. These are the things that are important to him. Then split the other household chores up into days of the week. By thinking of what he likes, you are honoring your husband, which honors God.

Notice how each of those begin with talk to your husband? Whether you work outside the home or not, communication is so important.

Homemaking isn't all about work. Here are some fun things to do for and with your husband as a homemaker:

• One of our favorite things to do when the kids were little was to surprise my husband with lunch at work. It's a fun treat for everyone! You can even go alone for a date.
• Bake or purchase treats for his co-workers and surprise them. One time my husband was working next to a donut shop. So we stopped and bought a couple dozen donuts and took them over to all the guys. My hubby was so pleased and his guys were thrilled.
• Take extra care to make your master bedroom a special place for the two of you. Be intentional about keeping the room clean and light a candle each day. This makes your master bedroom a haven or retreat-like place for the two of you to be together.
• In the winter, when it's super cold, start the shower when you hear your husband pull in the drive. The bathroom will get steamy and he will be able to take a hot shower and relax first thing.
• Be spontaneous, if you get my drift! If the kids are napping at the time your husband is due home, shoot him a text that says, "Come in the house quietly and meet me in the bedroom." He will love it!
• A few years ago I saw a picture making its rounds on social media. It was a Nerf gun with a note that said something to the affect of, "It's war and we are all armed! Find us!" What a fun idea to surprise your husband after work!

This week's action plan:
Have a discussion with your husband. Decide what priorities you need to have in your homemaking. Make a list of things that need to be done daily, weekly, and monthly. After you have this list done, add something fun for your husband!

Discussion:

1. Have you and your husband ever discussed homemaking and what he finds important?
2. What is one fun activity you can incorporate into your homemaking for your husband this week?

Homemaking God's Way series:
Week One: Your Heart