Don't Read Too Much Into It

By: Jenifer Metzger

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

Ecclesiastes 3:6

Recently my husband was faced with a situation that hurt and upset him. Someone said something that was worded in a rude way. At first, he felt on guard. While I agreed that the comment was unnecessary, I gently reminded him to not read too much into it.

The person could have not meant anything by it. Or, if they did, that is their mistake and they will have to answer for it. But it wasn't something worth fighting about and it was something worth worrying about. He agreed and let it go.

Then just a couple of days later, the same thing happened to me. Someone said something to me, and while not in a rude way, it was taking something away from something I was looking forward to. I was hurt.

My husband gently reminded me of my own advice. The person could have been innocent enough and had no intention of hurting me. But if they did, that is on them. It wasn't something worth fighting about or worrying over.

Sometimes we need to let things go. So often we take things that are done and said and assume the worst. We think people are purposely out to get us. The truth is, often times we are reading too much into it. The person had no ill intention. Yet we get upset and cause an argument to only make matters worse, or we sit and stew over it for days, weeks, months, even years and lose what could have been a good relationship.

Yes, there are situations that need to be addressed. There are some things that taken care of. This is where we need to turn to God and use wisdom.

Before addressing a situation, follow these steps:

Pray. Ask God for wisdom and discernment.

Take time. Don't rush into anything out of hurt or anger. Take your time.

Seek wise counsel. Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend and ask for another point of view and advice.

Think it through. Does it really matter? Is what was said or done something that really makes a difference or can you let it go?

Pray again. If you feel God leading you to let it go, ask Him to help you leave it alone. If you feel God leading you to address the situation, ask Him to guide you to handle it correctly.

Act in love. If you need to confront the person, act in love, not anger or bitterness.

Discussion:
1. Do you struggle with reading too much into things done or said to you?
2. How can you use these 6 steps to help you not read too much into situations?