How to Use The Sandwich Approach

 

By: Sarah Geringer 

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Colossians 4:6 ESV

Have you heard of the sandwich approach? It's a way to deliver constructive criticism with greater effectiveness.

This week I taught my 13-year-old daughter about this approach. As teens tend to do, she let some words fly out of her mouth without thinking. They were honest, but they weren't very sweet. Though I needed to hear them, I wished her delivery was different.

Later, I taught her about this sandwich approach. I said her honest words would have been easier for me to hear if they had first been wrapped in affirmation and lovingkindness, then finished with more of that good stuff. I didn't resent her honesty, but I longed for a more gracious approach.

In a real sandwich, the best stuff is on the inside. When we need to confront someone, we still can put the best stuff inside - the constructive criticism that builds up instead of tearing down. It can be received as the good stuff ONLY if we first wrap it in lovingkindness and finish it with grace.

When you use the sandwich approach, you can mix grace with savory salt. It's like offering a sweet-salty combination to your loved one, like a barbecue sandwich - YUM! Most people appreciate this combination, because it's not too sweet or too salty. It's all in the delivery.

One of the best gifts you can give someone is truth spoken in love. Just make sure you wrap the meaty truth inside the bread of love, so it's more palatable to your loved one.

Here's a prayer to encourage you too:

Father God,

Thank you for the gifts of truth and love.

I confess that I often don't speak the truth in love as you instruct.

Sometimes I shrink back from offering constructive criticism.

Other times I deliver the truth without much love.

I need your help and guidance, Lord.

Teach me to use the sandwich approach for greater effectiveness.

May my speech be seasoned with salt and grace for your glory.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

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Have a blessed weekend!

Sarah Geringer
Finding Peace in God's Word

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