Sometimes it's Okay to Not be Okay

  By: Shari A. Miller

I was speaking with my husband the other day about my writing. I told him that sometimes I just don't know what to say. When you're smack dab in the middle of the storm of cancer, sometimes it's hard to be positive and encourage others in their lives. He looked at me and said, "Write about that, write about the tough times and how it's not easy to get through them, be real and write about real life."

When I was growing up I had this image of what my life would be like. You know that Cinderella fairy tale, the home with the white picket fence, 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. Fancy vacations, everything taken care of, everyone healthy, and no problems what so ever. (Insert laugh.) I really think the fairy tales of old and television shows have all done us a disservice. We grow up thinking everything will be like what it is in the movies, and it's obviously not. 

I don't know about you, but the fair tales of old, didn't necessarily happen for me. In many ways my life is better than I could of every dreamed of, I have an amazing, loving husband who works very hard to take care of us, and 2 beautiful/handsome kids that mean the world to me. However times have not been easy. When you fight cancer for 17 years there's a lot that goes along with that. Financial issues because of mounting doctor bills, paying for prescriptions at an astronomical price. Just tonight we went to pick up my pain medicine and found out it was going to be $720! What?? Who can pay for that? We ended going with another medication that is cheaper and will hopefully work just as well. 

There is also the emotional toll that it takes on the whole family. Test after test, PET scan after PET scan, and brain MRI after brain MRI can really get to you. That's where I'm at right now, in the waiting phase of wondering what my test results will say. Monday morning we'll get the answers we've been searching for. Will the cancer be gone? Will it remain stable? Will it be so bad that all my treatment options have been eliminated? My poor family is so supportive, but deep down they suffer as well, as they wait to hear what the test results will be. 

We all have trials that we've gone through or are currently going through. Trials that have caused us to cry out in anger, "Why is this happening? Why God? What have I done wrong?"

"But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold." Job 23:10

God never promised that our lives would be with out trials and suffering. However, He did say that He would be with us every step of the way. I am now thankful when trials come. I am thankful when I'm put through the refiners fire because, I'll come out better on the other side. I'll come out a changed person, who can better serve the Father and others around me. 

So, you see, sometimes it's okay not to be okay. 

And the reason why is because it's all part of God's plan to make us more into His image. It's not an easy process at all, but it sure is worth it. In working through our struggles, two wonderful things happen, we become closer to Christ, and more like him as we seek him through these hard times. We also become a witness to others. When we let our light still sine through times of trouble, were setting an example and showing others who are Father really is.

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Don't get discouraged sisters, we are all on this road of life together. Let's support each other when the times are not okay. Let's encourage one another and remind each other that with God we do have the strength to see these hard times through.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.       Romans 5:3