Cancer, Depression and the Christian

By: Shari A. Miller

As I sit here on this Tuesday night, getting ready to write my blog post for tomorrow, the Lord spoke to me and told me what He wanted me to write about. I thought, "No.....ha, ha, ha, I really, like I mean REALLY don't want to talk to people about that God. I don't want people to know about that and have them think less of me."

Again.....

"You need to share it."  "But.....God....why?"

"So they can see what I bring you through, that's why."

"Okay God, I will obey."

Falsodex shots, and yes they do hurt as bad as
they look. 

For those of you that don't already know, the doctor's have diagnosed me with stage 4 breast cancer, I was originally diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer 14 years ago. Then after a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction, 6 rounds of chemo, and 35 rounds of radiation I was cancer free for almost 7 years. Then in November of 2010, it came back, stage 4 breast cancer, that had metastasized to my bones. What being stage 4 means is that it has metastasized to other parts of the body, and I will ALWAYS be on some form of treatment. What treatment I'm on depends upon what works for my body and shrinks the tumors, or at least keeps them stable. I've gone through various hormonal treatments, chemos, and 15 rounds of radiation over these past 7 years.

What I'm currently on now is a form of chemo called Ibrance. It is a pill that I take orally, 3 weeks on and one week off. I also have Falsodex injections that are given into my rear once a month.

Last but not least every 3 months I get an infusion of bone strengthening medicine called Zometa. I do all of this combined with monthly blood draws to make sure my numbers are where they need to be. I also get PET scans once every 3 months to see if the cancer is shrinking, remaining stable or growing.

I am also a Christian, I love the Lord Jesus with all my heart, and it's my life's mission to do His will.

Another thing that you may not know about me is, I also suffer from depression.

Yes, that's right I am a Christian, who has cancer, who suffers from depression.

                                                                                                   
Most of us that are diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer usually suffer with some form of depression. However, when you add the word Christian into the mix, the suffering of depression usually isn't supposed to happen. Well, I'm here to tell you, as living proof, that it does. 

So much stigma is placed on the words depression, anxiety, or whatever you may have, that people who proclaim to be Christian's feel like these types of words should never be part of our vocabulary. It makes anyone feel upset and ashamed because they are not strong enough to handle these battles on their own. And it's herein that the problem lies....mental health needs to be given the same "respect" that other physical health conditions are given. No one asks to feel depressed or anxious, yet through genetics, environmental factors, and a whole list of other things to add into the mix it does happen. Just like with medical conditions such as heart disease or diabetes, which you can be genetically inclined to inherit, it takes a change in life style, medication and possible various other treatments to make you well. Health conditions such as these are not looked at with negative connotations and neither should mental health issues be looked at with negative connotations.

My story of depression begins all the way back to when I was in elementary school. Due to some things that where happening at home, it at times was not the most pleasant of places to be. It was there that my wiring for being predisposed to depression began. And when cancer reared it's ugly head, so did the depression and the anxiety. It's like all 3 of them took off on a life of their own.

As many of you who fight depression daily know, it is not an easy thing to deal with. When I add metastatic breast cancer into the mix it at times becomes completely overwhelming. Metastatic breast cancer feels like your stuck behind bars, begging for someone to help you escape, but at times, that escape does not come. Cancer brings many fears along with it as well as many questions.

Am I going to die? How much longer do I have to live? Will I get to see my children graduate from high school? Will this treatment work this time? How many side affects go along with this treatment? Will I loose my hair again? Will I have enough energy to live life like a normal person? My tumor markers have gone up?? What does that mean? It's time for another scan? What will the scan show? Where has the cancer moved to now?

As you can imagine, by the time anyone is done reading that list, they've worked themselves into quite a frenzy and  the depression and anxiety have worked itself up into a full force storm.

But, do you wanna know a secret? Do you wanna know what holds me together during those times? The Father God.....oh He is good friends!

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." ~ 1 Peter 5:10

*Please join me next week for Part 2 of Cancer, Depression and the Christian. In next week's post, I'll be talking about how God works through my life as I daily fight the battle of cancer and depression.

It is time for the Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesday Link Up. We desire to connect women of God with one another and encourage each other in Christ. So grab a cup of coffee or glass of sweet tea, sit back and visit a few blogs. Be encouraged and share your own stories in their comments.

Use hashtag #w2wwordfilledwednesday

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