A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
My heart longs to be a good wife. I want to be worth far more than rubies. I want my husband to be proud to be my husband. But the truth is, being a wife is hard. So. Hard.
Here are 5 ways you can be a better wife.
Pray for him.
Oh friend. Your husband desperately needs your prayers. If your husband did not come from a Christian family, then without your prayers, he likely has no one praying for him. How awful to go through life without anyone lifting you to the Father! If he came from a Christian home with praying parents, that is amazing. Yet I want to share a secret. No one, absolutely no one can pray for a husband the way a wife can. You are living with him, sharing the same home, sharing the same bed, you know him in a way that no one else in this world does. A wife's prayers are different from a mother's prayers or a grandmother's prayers. Your husband needs you to pray for him daily.
Encourage him.
Whatever your husband's love language is, encouragement is something he needs. Our men carry a heavy load. I am not just talking about financially supporting the family, though that is most definitely a heavy load! I am talking about the fact that men are called by God to lead their families. That's a huge responsibility! Encourage him. Tell him he's doing a good job. Thank him for leading the family. Tell him you are proud of him. As you encourage him, he will be inspired to become a better leader.
Respect him.
One of the top two things men need from their wives, very possibly the number one thing they need is respect (the other being intimacy). They need to know their wife respects and honors them. It's vital. It shows him that you believe in him and that you are behind him. He needs to know you respect his decisions and his choices. He needs to know you respect him as a father. Show him respect even when you don't agree with him. In those times of not agreeing with him, first pray, then respectfully, calmly, lovingly go to him and voice your concern. Then trust God to lead him.
Accept him.
Your husband is human. He is going to fail. He is going to grow older. He is going to make wrong choices. He's not perfect. But guess what? Neither are you. You are human. You are going to fail. You are going to grow older. You are going to make wrong choices. Accept your husband for who he is. Don't try to change him. If there is something about him that is not pleasing to God, like an addiction or harmful behavior, take it to God! You are not his Holy Spirit, you cannot convict him to change. Pray that God would deliver him. For everything else, like not putting his shoes away, for acting younger than his age, for disliking to read, those kind of things, accept him.
Forgive him.
Holding a grudge is so easy! Yet so wrong. We already established that your husband is going to mess up from time to time, as are you. If you want to be forgiven, forgive. Let him know that you forgive him, even when he doesn't seek your forgiveness. Then drop it! Don't bring up his past sins or failures. Forgive and let it go.
Do these 5 things intentionally and regularly and you will be on your way to becoming a better wife.
Share in the comments other ways to be a better wife. Let's grow together.
Married forty years and still have to remind myself of these important points!
ReplyDelete20 years in and I too still have to remind myself.
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