Knowing the love of Christ...

by Elizabeth Stewart

Perhaps, I was just born with a leaky love bucket.  Some of my earliest memories are of inner loneliness and longing for loving words and touches from my Mama and Daddy.  I would day dream scenarios of Mama lovingly fussing over me or of me finding a little note written to me by my Daddy. I was the second from the last child in a family of seven kids and Mama and Daddy did their best.   But, my heart just couldn't seem to get enough love and I couldn't seem to retain the love that I was given.

My husband and I married young, the first summer after our freshman year of college.  I subconsciously thought that he was the answer to my inner loneliness and longing for love.  We were married less than two years when we ended up in our pastor's office for marriage counseling.  In my opinion, he was failing as a husband.  He wasn't filling up my love bucket and wasn't that his job?  I was hoping that our pastor would straighten him out.  What actually happened was like a splash of cold water in my face, but it was a life changing moment for me.  The pastor told me that my husband would never be able to meet all of needs.  He said that no human would be able to fulfill all of the longings of my heart.  He explained that if another human could do that, then that person would, in essence, become god to me. He encouraged me to go on my own spiritual journey to discover the love of God, to find out what it meant to have a deep and intimate friendship with the Creator of the universe.  And so I did.

That was close to four decades ago.  I began to pursue God through reading and studying His word and through conversing with Him in prayer about anything and everything that was on my heart.  I can't tell you exactly when or how it happened, but somewhere along the way I became immoveably, unshakeably convinced of God's great love for me. My understanding of His love changed from head knowledge to true and deep personal experience.  He has healed my leaky love bucket and filled it up to overflowing with His great love.  He can do the same for you.  He longs to do the same for you.  Go to Him with your loneliness and your longing for love.  Consistently seek Him and His great heart.  He wants you to experience His love for yourself.  He wants you to be firmly convinced through personal experience that nothing can separate you from His love.  Let today be your life changing moment as you decide to go on your own spiritual journey to discover the love of God.  

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