Learning His Language

By: Jenifer Metzger

You need to know your husband's language. His love language, that is.

My One Word for 2017 is marriage. I want to learn to be a better wife, invest more into my marriage, and fall deeper in love with my husband. So I am taking steps to work on my marriage and one thing I wanted to focus on is his love language. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years so I thought I knew what his love language was. But I was shocked to find out that I was completely wrong!

So, you might be asking what a love language is. The Five Love Languages is a book by author Gary Chapman. Chapman reminds us that we all see and receive love in different ways.

When my husband tells me things like you did a good job today or the house looks really nice or dinner was delicious or thank you for teaching our kids today, I feel loved and appreciated. It means a lot to me to hear those words {words of affirmation is my love language}. But not so much for my husband. While he appreciates hearing affirming words, it means much more to him when I do something for him. My husband's old car leaked oil almost as fast as you could put it in. One time I picked up a gallon jug of oil while I was at the store. When he came home and saw it sitting there, he felt loved. It meant so much to him to know that I did something for him just because. I thought it was no big deal, but it meant a lot to him.

The Five Love Languages are receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and quality time. These are the main 5 ways that people feel and receive love. Chapman's book tells us what each language looks like and how to show love in your spouse's language.

By knowing my husband's love language, his main love language is acts of service, I am better able to show him love in a way that is the most meaningful to him.

I encourage you to head over to the Five Love Languages website and take the assessment. If you and your husband both take the assessment you will learn how to show each other love. What a blessing it is to know how your spouse feels loved!