Hey Jealousy

By: Sarah MacKinney

Jealousy. A word defined as resentment, mental uneasiness, suspicion and envy. If we are honest, we have all felt the sharp pangs of jealousy at least once in our lives. Maybe in a relationship, perhaps in someones success, etc etc ... It is an ugly feeling, it is a feeling that torments and causes problems and breaks up relationships. It is an emotion that leads to comparison, feeling less than and just an overall feeling of angst. One of the primary reasons for jealousy is comparison. Someone looks better, has better behaved children, their house is always in perfect order, their marriage seems like it was made in heaven and the list goes on and on. We think that we all have to be this certain prototype and when we don't seem to measure up, we feel insecure and jealous. We give in to the lie that society feeds us, the lie that tells us we all have to look the same, drive brand new vehicles, live in fancy houses and have perfectly behaved children. And guess what? Sometimes, ok a lot of times, we believe that lie. Who made up these so called rules and why do we strive so hard to live by them?

The older I get, the more I love myself. Yep, this flawed, broken, messed up mama. I know it sounds super cliche and some of you may be rolling your eyes at this point, but I have truly learned to love who God has made me to be. I don't look like anyone else and that is ok. I have different style choices than others, and that is certainly ok. I like my house, I like my soccer mom mini van and I like my quirks. I just like ME! I do, I like me. After many years of comparison and feeling like I didn't measure up or feeling like I was too much; too loud, too this, too that.....I've learned to just like me. To love me. You see, when we truly see who God created us to be and we embrace our differences, there is no need for comparison and jealousy. I have friends who have much nicer homes than I do, but I celebrate that with them! I love my home and the loud, crazy 7 of us who live there! Some of my friends have nicer clothes and great hairstyles; I'm ok with my husband using box dye to dye my hair and getting good bargains at garage sales; in fact some of my favorite clothes are from garage sales! I feel no jealousy or envy toward my friends because they are who they are and I am who I am.

Comparison never has a good turn out. We either end up feeling proud and haughty because we think we have it better than others or (and more often than not) we feel bad because we don't look, act, or have the advantages or success of others. But....God made you.....YOU! He didn't need 25 Sarah MacKinney's, He needed one. He didn't need 20 of you, He wanted you. YOU! You are good enough, your appearance is just right, your style is perfectly you, your quirks are what make you unique, YOU are more than good enough. Aren't you thankful for a God who doesn't love us based on what we look like or the material possessions we acquire? His love for you isn't based on the number of people that attend your church or ministry, it isn't dependent on the amount of friends you have or the numerous other ways that we as humans place worth on people. Your job, your family, your body, your friends, your house; its all unique to you and who God formed and fashioned you to be. Wanting to be like someone else is silly if you think about it, if you really stop and think about it. If you weren't you, who would fulfill the role that you play in the world? Nobody could live your life the way you do. Nobody.

Lets talk relationships for a minute. I used to be very insecure in my relationship with my spouse, not because he did anything to make me feel that way, but because I had issues from my childhood and teen years that I carried with me into marriage. Fear of being abandoned, fear of being left alone. Not until I prayed and prayed and prayed and spent time working on myself, did those issues and feelings go away. Now I am very secure in my marriage; but I learned that I couldn't depend solely on my husband to provide that security, I had to get it from the true lover of my soul, the one who created me and knows me best.  The Bible tells us that charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised! True beauty is someone who reflects Jesus. True beauty is servant hood, joy and kindness. It has so little to do with what we look like and so much to do with who we are.

I don't know what kind of jealousy ails you, or perhaps you don't struggle with it at all. But if you do, no matter if it is in regards to relationships, beauty, material possessions; you don't have to struggle with it any longer. It is a daily process of giving it to God, admitting your need for His help. When we give something up, we usually replace it with something else.  So ask God to help you break the chains of jealousy and replace it with joy and the ability to celebrate with others. Give up envy and ask God to help you replace it with contentment for who you were created to be. Give up comparison and watch God give you security. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Nobody else can be you. You are important and you matter. Live the life God has given you to the fullest. Be you; its beautiful.

Sarah