Pure Eyes, Clean Heart {Part 1}

*Warning: Today's subject has to do with p*rn. You may wish to not read with the little ones over your shoulder.

By: Jenifer Metzger

P*rnography. It's always been there. Hidden behind the scenes. Calling men, taunting them. Yet today, it is everywhere. Why this big change?

Years ago, if a person wanted to look at this material, they had to seek it out. They had to go to the right place and purchase it and everyone would see them. Nowadays, it is literally at your fingertips for free and in private. The tap of a key on the keyboard and there it is. The swipe of a finger on a cell phone and there it is. Even when you are not trying to find it, sometimes it finds you! You can look at it anywhere, any time and no one knows but you. Well, you and God.

Because it is so accessible these days, it is has become such a huge evil that so many battle with. And it's not just men, many women and young people struggle too.

Here are a few terrifying statistics for you:

• 1 in 5 mobile searches is for p*rn.
• 24% of mobile users admit to having p*rnographic material on their smart phone.
• 9 out of 10 internet p*rn users only access the free p*rn.
• Already in 2014, there has been more than 1 billion searches online for p*rn.
• P*rn doesn't have a demographic-it goes to all demographics.
• 9 out of 10 boys are exposed to p*rn by 18 years old.
• 6 out of 10 girls are exposed to p*rn by 18 years old.
• The first exposure to p*rn among men is 12 years old.

Those are some scary numbers people.

Many marriages have faced this evil, even Christian marriages. Many men have struggled with the addiction and guilt, even Christian men. And many women have cried themselves to sleep wondering why they are not good enough for him, even Christian women.

A p*rnography addiction can be a vicious cycle. One that is difficult to break. The addicted spouse is found out, promises to never do it again, the other spouse believes, then it comes up again, the spouse promises to quit, the spouse believes, and then again. Over and over.

Jennifer Ferguson states in her new book, Pure Eyes, Clean Heart, co-authored with husband, Craig Ferguson, "The truth is, both of us were living in some form of denial, pretending real freedom hand been found. I tried trusting him again when he said he was hardly ever tempted. I made myself believe that all my strategies had worked."

When a wife is hurt by her husband looking at p*rn, she often blames herself. What did I do wrong? Am I not pretty enough? Do I not fulfill him enough? Does he not love me anymore? Then she goes through stages of being what Jennifer calls the "p*rn police." Trying to dictate his every move. When instead we need to remember two very important things, Jennifer says. Trust God and respect our husband.

Those two things sound horribly hard when you are in the middle of this situation. But we have to surrender to God and let Him work.

Join me next Monday for more encouragement on p*rn in marriage and more great word from Jennifer and Craig Ferguson. In the meantime, check out their brand new book Pure Eyes, Clean Heart. You will be blessed, I promise!