By: Jenifer Metzger
When someone, namely our husband, asks how we are doing, our automatic response is I'm fine. Now, we women know that I'm fine does not ever mean I'm fine. No. It may mean: I'm tired, I'm sad, I'm overwhelmed, I'm depressed, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I want to punch you in the gut right now but it never under any circumstance means I'm fine.
Why do we do this? Why do we chose not to tell our husband how we are really feeling?
A few weeks ago I was hurt by my husband's attitude that day. He didn't realize he said anything rude to me and he didn't realize that he hurt my feelings. After a few hours, he was perfectly fine and everything was settled, still not knowing he hurt me. As we drove home he could tell I was upset because I was being quiet and staring out the window. He asked me what was wrong and I, of course, said, I'm fine. He asked me three more times and each time I said the same thing. He finally said he wouldn't ask me again. But he knew something was wrong.
That's when I felt God say, "Why didn't you tell him? He needed to know so that he could make it okay." I never did tell him.
But I learned that day, if we tell our husband the 'natural' response I'm fine, he won't know how to help. If your husband has done the wrong, maybe he doesn't realize he hurt you. By telling him the truth, he will know and be able to make it right. If he did realize it he hurt you in the moment, chance are one, he forgot after awhile or two, he regrets it. But telling him the truth, that it hurt you, he can make it right. If it has nothing to do with your husband at all, by telling him he can pray with you, give you advice and just listen as you pour your heart out.
Let's stop telling our husband I'm fine and start sharing our heart with him.
Is your automatic response I'm fine? What can you do instead of saying that, can you share your heart with your husband?
When someone, namely our husband, asks how we are doing, our automatic response is I'm fine. Now, we women know that I'm fine does not ever mean I'm fine. No. It may mean: I'm tired, I'm sad, I'm overwhelmed, I'm depressed, I'm hurt, I'm angry, I want to punch you in the gut right now but it never under any circumstance means I'm fine.
Why do we do this? Why do we chose not to tell our husband how we are really feeling?
A few weeks ago I was hurt by my husband's attitude that day. He didn't realize he said anything rude to me and he didn't realize that he hurt my feelings. After a few hours, he was perfectly fine and everything was settled, still not knowing he hurt me. As we drove home he could tell I was upset because I was being quiet and staring out the window. He asked me what was wrong and I, of course, said, I'm fine. He asked me three more times and each time I said the same thing. He finally said he wouldn't ask me again. But he knew something was wrong.
That's when I felt God say, "Why didn't you tell him? He needed to know so that he could make it okay." I never did tell him.
But I learned that day, if we tell our husband the 'natural' response I'm fine, he won't know how to help. If your husband has done the wrong, maybe he doesn't realize he hurt you. By telling him the truth, he will know and be able to make it right. If he did realize it he hurt you in the moment, chance are one, he forgot after awhile or two, he regrets it. But telling him the truth, that it hurt you, he can make it right. If it has nothing to do with your husband at all, by telling him he can pray with you, give you advice and just listen as you pour your heart out.
Let's stop telling our husband I'm fine and start sharing our heart with him.
Is your automatic response I'm fine? What can you do instead of saying that, can you share your heart with your husband?
This is a great reminder because I'm know I'm guilty of responding with the "I am fine." I'm currently going through The Love Dare book and this is another point important to remember as I move along. I'm spending time on how love is thoughtful which makes me think of how we do need to be slow to speak so we do not speak out of anger.
ReplyDeleteBeth, I am so glad you are doing the Love Dare, it is an great resource! Thanks for stopping in and for your comment. God bless.
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