When He Won't Touch You

Of the five love languages, many women fall under the category of physical touch. To us, nothing speaks more deeply than touch. We feel good when our husband caresses our cheek, runs his hand down our arms, or places his hand on the small of our back. It feels good to have that touch because it shows his love and makes us feel his protection.

But what happens when he won't touch you?

Men think different than women. As I discussed this topic with my husband, he reminded me that while a woman may desire that touch so deeply, it may not even cross his mind. My husband's suggestion? Simply tell your man that you like it when he touches you. Much to the surprise of us gals, our guys are not mind readers. If we want it, we need to tell him.

Touch to be touched. Touch your husband. As you walk by him, rub your hand on his chest. As you sit in the car, hold his hand. Or as you sit on the couch relaxing, rub his back. Now remember that some people just do not like to be touched at all. If this is the case with your guy, go easy. A short, gentle caress maybe just once a day. After time, he may begin to like to be touched. Even if the doesn't, chances are the short, gentle touches will be okay with him.

Meet his needs too. If we want him to meet our needs, we need to meet his needs. If your husband's love language is words of affirmation, for example, the more you affirm him, the more you build him up with your words, the closer he will feel to you. And the closer he feels to you, the more he will be aware of your needs.

Just because your husband doesn't touch you, or has recently slacked off in this area, don't lose heart. Hang in their. Touch bonds us. Makes us close to one another. Simply tell him you liked to be touched, touch him and meet his needs. As he knows you like to be touched and feels his needs met, he will be encouraged to touch you.


If you are not sure what your husband's love language is, or would simply like to learn more about the five languages, I encourage you to check out Gary Chapman's book.