Sixteen years. Can I just say wow!?Sixteen years ago this very day {August 26th} my husband and I stood before our family and friends and said "I do."
According to statistics, we should not have made it to this number. According to the world's standards, we should not be married to each other anymore. Jeremy and I married very young. We had children right away. We have faced hardships that tear many couples apart.
One-third of young marriages end in divorce within five years. One-half of young marriages end in divorce within ten years. Thirty-six percent of all marriages end in divorce. And the way of the world now is if your marriage is too hard, walk away. It's okay. Marriage is throw away. A couple of years ago I heard a woman say that she wasn't sure she wanted to marry her husband, but she figured "why not, if it doesn't work out it is fine, we will just get a divorce." And recently a woman -who has been married for more than twenty years- told me she had a back up plan in case her marriage didn't work out. Marriage is not taken serious and it breaks my heart.
So why did my marriage make it to sixteen years? Are we special? No. We are not special. And our marriage has not been easy. It has been difficult. We have faced many trials from deep financial issues to trust issues to major health crisis's with our children. It has been a long, bumpy road. And we still have a long way to go.
- Pray daily for your marriage and your mate.
- Pray daily with your mate. {If your husband is not a believer or will just not pray with you, just continue to pray for him on your own. God will work and honor your prayers.}
- Say 'I love you' every single day.
- Never say the word divorce. Just don't put it out there. Ever.
- Date. It doesn't matter how long you have been married, date each other.
- Never stop pursuing each other. Remember the things you did for him when you were dating; the sweet love notes, wearing his favorite color, wearing a perfume he liked, winking at him, all of those things that made him melt into a pool of jello, do them.
- Never talk bad about your mate to anyone, ever. Speak positive words about him.
- Thank him. Notice the things he does and thank him for them. From the little things, like putting his dish in the sink, to the big things like going to work every day.
- When you argue, and you will, take time to cool off if necessary. Don't go to each other in anger and say and do things you will later regret. Cool off, pray, then go calmly to discuss what needs to be discussed.
- When he is upset or hurting, really listen to what is bothering him. If you are the root of that, pray and ask God to help you in this area. {and let's face it ladies, we will be the root from time to time, just like he will be the root of our troubles from time to time.}
It won't always be easy. God never promised us that life would be easy, marriage is no exception. But we need to persevere. We need to daily to choose to love our mate.
We don't have to be a statistic. We don't have to let our marriage end in divorce. And we don't have to live in an unhappy marriage. Dedicate your marriage to God and choose love.
These past sixteen years have been an adventure. And I truly look forward to the next sixteen. And to my Jeremy, I love you baby! xoxo
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| Our Marriage Monday picture just so happens to be the hands of my husband and I sixteen years ago! |
What is your best marriage advice? Comment below and share with us what helps you and your spouse.
A few of the marriage resources we love:
Power of a Praying Wife {check out our series here}
Happy Anniversary Jenifer! Bless you for sharing and for being different and sticking it out! :) Never could see the point of having a backup plan... We're in it for life ;)
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! I believe God truly blessed our family with Jeremy and I couldn't be more proud of the family you have become! I see God at work and KNOW that our prayers were answered when God brought Jeremy into our lives.
ReplyDeleteThese 10 tips are excellent and should be printed out and put in a conspicuous place in every couple's home!
Your 10 Keys are very, very good, Jenifer. I've been married nearly 23 years and it's a 2nd marriage for both of us and by the worlds standard we should have broken up years ago. But God makes it possible and working on our marriage, too. We have faced all of the things that you mention, all four of our parents died in the first six years of our marriage, as well as my daughter came down with cancer at age 16 during that time, too. We had continual problems with my husbands ex-wife and our children hated each other. It was terrible, but I am grateful to say that things are pretty good now. Our children basically ignore each other, so we can never have a family reunion, but they all love our grandchildren and they all love myself and my husband as well. God is GOOD! Without a LOT of prayer I would have not have been able to make it, as well as my sweet hubby. I am so grateful for the love and mercies of God that are continually renewed each day. This was a very good post, my friend. There's something about the way you write that causes me to tell you things I don't tell anybody. Thanks for being there.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Cindy