There's nothing like a 3 year old to break that crispiness and pride so Jesus can get in mom and do some attitude adjustment. Her brother pinched her finger in her bedroom door about an hour ago. It hurt her pretty bad she wouldn't bend her fingers for quite a while but after I put her brother to bed she was playing by my feet with her doll and she looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and said oh! Mommy my finger doesn't hurt anymore! Thank You Jesus! She climbed up on the couch next to me and continued to play with her doll as the uncontrollable well of tears spilled over my eyelashes. She gets it, no matter how crispy, how awful I'm being she just gets it. She gets that Jesus loves her and she gets that He heals her hurts.
We were listening to a "Jesus Song" as she calls it and she looked up from her doll to see me crying. She got very concerned as I asked, hunny do you love Jesus? She said "yes mommy" I said "I do too baby so so much" and cried all the harder. She said "Oh mommy it's ok Jesus loves you and He'll be there." More tears from mom as Jesus did more attitude adjustment in my heart.
I know tonight neither of my children saw Him in me and it makes me very afraid. I never ever want my children, how ever small they might be, to stumble. They need to see Jesus in me all the time, every moment. How else will they learn about Him. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I'm not a perfect mom but I do love Jesus and I know with all my heart that He loves me too and He's on my side so for that reason I keep moving forward, through the crispy moments on to the next grace filled moment.
Thank you Jesus, I love you. Being a mom is hard...I need your help,
I'm not strong enough for this job and I can't do it on my own. Please please gaurd my children's hearts against my attitude and the darkness of this world, never let Your Truth be taken from them. In your Holy and precious Name, Amen.
Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name
All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name
Your great name by Natalie Grant
You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name
Your great name by Natalie Grant
Again Mandy, I love your honesty and transparency. You are expressing what so many moms are feeling. We all fail and mess up, but your heart shows your love for Jesus and your kids. You don't have to be strong enough, you just need to lean on the One who is. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post Mandy. I often feel like this. My kids are a little older but I am still learning to lean on God.
ReplyDeleteI agree that we should show Jesus to our kids as much as we can, but on the other side, they also need to see how mommy isn't perfect and sometimes she just doesn't get it right. This will give them a picture of God's grace and His open arms that always welcome His children :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I know what you mean... I know what you mean. How terrible it is when we snap, yell, and fail to show the love, patience, and forgiveness that shows HIM in us! It was me tonight... short fuse with a precious little girl who doesn't know how to handle her emotions. And how do I show her? I lose my temper back. Thankfully God can forgive, and when we are honest it provides a teachable moment.
ReplyDelete