Negative Self-Talk and God's Compassion

  By: Lauren Thomas 

Imagine a friend who is going through something difficult. What would you say to that friend? How would you respond to her? How would you meet her gaze and offer her kindness? Now, think about something difficult you are facing. What do you say to yourself? How does your self-talk speak about what you are going through?

For most of us, the answers to these two scenarios – how we respond to another’s struggle and how we respond to our own struggles – are close to being polar opposites. We know how to offer compassion to others. But we fail to give that same compassion to ourselves. We speak to ourselves in ways we would never imagine speaking to someone else.

 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

Colossians 3:12 ESV

 

In New Testament epistles, we read exhortations to be compassionate toward others. Yet, that compassion is rarely turned inward toward ourselves. Instead, negative self-talk prevails. However, a lack of self-compassion is harmful, as negative self-talk is correlated to depression and anxiety.

 

Flipping the switch from negative-self-talk to self-compassion is not easy. And, some even feel it would be wrong to do so. Some believe that to be compassionate inwardly would mean that their motivation to improve would be stripped away. Others feel that they do not deserve to receive compassion. Still others think this idea is unbiblical.

 

However you feel about self-compassion, we believers can agree on this: Jesus is compassionate. Jesus was compassionate during His time on Earth, as seen in the Gospels. The Old Testament also depicts the compassionate nature of God.

 

If you struggle with negative self-talk, I want to offer you some strategies that will increase your sense of God’s compassion toward you.

 

1) Close your eyes and imagine Jesus sitting across from you, treating you with compassion. What does it feel like? What sensations does it cause in your body? What reactions do you notice? Engage in this exercise from time to time. As we become secure in the truth of God’s compassion, we will begin to experience change.

 

2) Next time you notice negative self-talk, invite Jesus into your thoughts. Ask Him to be a filter for your thoughts. Any words He would not speak to you Himself are words that are not allowed past Him. Jesus is kind to convict; but for those who have put faith and trust in Him, there is no condemnation or shame that comes from Him (see Romans 8:1).

 

3) Spend time becoming familiar with verses and passages of Scripture which show us the compassion of God – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (See below to get started.)

 

As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Psalms 103:13 ESV

 

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”

Luke 7:13 ESV

 

So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
    so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
    Blessed are those who wait for his help.

Isaiah 30:18 NLT

 

Reflection:

Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Think of a time you have experienced compassion from a friend. Have you experienced God’s compassion? Pick one of the above strategies to increase your sense of God’s compassion in your life.

Love for Judas

By: Grace Metzger

“Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” And they were 

very sorrowful and began to say to Him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?”

Matthew 26:31-22 ESV

Recently, I heard a quote on TikTok about how Jesus loved everyone so much that when He said one of His disciples was going to be betraying Him, no one could tell who it was. He didn’t show any hatred or anger ever to Judas. He knew what Judas was going to do, He knew how Judas would betray Him. But He had such love for him despite all that.

I think back to myself, do I have a love like that for my enemies? A love that is so true and pure that it doesn’t hold grudges or have anger controlling it? I think if everyone answered honestly then not one person would say they have that love for their enemies. I can admit that that kind of love is hard to have. Especially nowadays, with people’s belief of cutting people off, putting themselves above others, or holding onto anger. It’s not common nowadays to have love like that.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

This isn’t just a small thing that we’re working towards but should be an incredibly important part of your journey with God. Loving others as God loves them is so incredibly important. Jesus knew the importance of love. In fact, He even tells us that after loving God with all your heart, that loving your neighbor is the most important commandment. But I believe that He knows that this is not something that comes easily to us, but it’s something that we have to work towards daily in order to attain. 

You might ask how do I even work towards that and that’s something I’ve been asking myself since I’ve saw that quote on TikTok. I wish I could say “here’s the one step you have to take in order to achieve this, have fun.” But it’s not like that, anything worth doing it’s not going to be easy. Instead, it takes a conscious effort every single day to love someone, to let go of the hurt they cause you, to give all your anger in pain to God, and choose to love them as God - and it’s up to you. I think back to how I’ve treated God in the past, I am shocked that He’s able to show me as much love as He has. If He can show me that much love after everything I’ve done to Him, then why can’t I do the same for others. I think our first step in this journey is instead of focusing on the hatred, anger, and pain, we need to focus on God. When I focus on the fact that God forgives me and God loves me, it reminds me that I am no better then anyone else. We are all the same. We’ve all sinned, we’ve all fallen short, and we are all imperfect. But we are also all the same in the fact that we are children of God. So instead of focusing on their faults, I’ve chosen to focus on that. I am choosing to love as Jesus loved Judas because they are children of God and who am I to treat God’s children poorly?

Discuss Question: What is something you learned this resurrection week?

When You Pass Through

By: Jenifer Metzger

We've all faced trials in life. We've lost loved ones, lost dreams, lost relationships, struggled financially, faced health crisis, feared for a prodigal, been hurt by those we trusted most, lost jobs, and a long list of other trials we could have faced. No one in this world is exempt from trials. In fact, when we are living for God, it feels like those trials come more frequently as the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you,

and the rivers will not overwhelm you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be scorched,

and the flame will not burn you.

Isaiah 43:2 CSB

Look at the first word in the verse above: when. God doesn't say if you pass through waters. He says when. He says when, not if, because we are sure to face those trials. He knows this world is broken and He knows we will face hard times. No one lives a smooth sailing life from cradle to grave.

My daughter has a bone condition where she has over one hundred tumors on her body and is in constant pain. We found the condition when she was four years old and we were told she would be monitored closely by a sarcoma doctor for the rest of her life. She is only twenty-three but has already had seven different surgeries to remove twelve of the tumors. We've been told from the beginning that these type of tumors are benign. That there is only 1% chance of one of these tumors actually being cancer. Pathology from her last surgery showed she is part of the 1%.

When she was a child, our church gathered around her and prayed over her before one of her check ups. As a man was praying he had a vision of her tumors falling off her body. We've stood by that promise of God for years. Yet, here we are. She still has the tumors and faces pain every single day. We don't know why she has to go through this. But we know as she does, God is with her.

My extended family has always been super close. We went to church together, vacationed together, had meals together, we were always together. It was normal to talk with my mom and even my sisters several times a day. Then, something happened that tore myself, my husband, and our kids away from the rest of the family. No matter the amount of trying, forgiving others, apologizing, and praying, nothing seems to get better.

I know how important family is to God and I don't know why I have to go through this, why I've lost the people that meant so much to me. But I do know that as I go through it, God is there every step of the way.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you,

and the rivers will not overwhelm you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be scorched,

and the flame will not burn you.

Isaiah 43:2 CSB

God tells us in Isaiah that when we pass through the waters, He is there. When we walk through the fire, He is there. Sometimes we have to pass through the trials. Could God help us avoid them? Yes. Could He lift us out of the them? Yes. God could make my daughter's tumors fall off today, just like the vision the man praying saw. God could restore my family to closer than before. But sometimes we need to pass through, all the way through.

Why would God want us to pass all the way through? Well, first, His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). He sees more than we see and knows more than we know. God could be protecting us from something worse along our journey. He could be removing toxic environments from our lives. He could be teaching us something to help someone else in the future. He could be positioning us just so to receive what He has for us. And He could be using it for His glory.

No matter why God is allowing us to pass through the trial, we can rest assured that God will be with us the entire way. His hand will be on us keeping us from being overwhelmed and burned. He is there. Friend, whatever trial you are facing, trust God. Trust His ways. Know He is right there with you. as my pastor frequently says, God's got this.

Discussion:
1. Think of a trial you have faced, how did you see God's hand at work?
2. Think of a trial you may be facing right now. How can you lean into God and trust Him?

A Made Up Mind

 By: Joanne Viola

 

Yesterday was Easter – a day we think about our Lord, all He endured, and His resurrection.

It is also a day in which we revisit our decision to follow Jesus, to commit our lives to Him.

As Jesus was on the Cross, knowing the end was coming, He uttered these words:

“Then Jesus shouted, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!”
And with those words he breathed his last.”
(Luke 23:46, NLT)

Jesus endured suffering we cannot imagine. Yet these final words show us what we are to do in our times of suffering.

• Will we allow the suffering to distance us from God? or
• Will we continue to trust God and draw near to Him?

 Important questions.

Jesus entrusted Himself to the Father.

Reading this in Scripture this week, I realized Jesus had made His decision long before the Cross.

And so it is with us. We need to make this decision, to follow Jesus, to entrust ourselves to God, before we suffer or go through difficulties.

We need to decide before facing suffering that we are going to follow Jesus. We need to entrust ourselves to the Father’s plans. And that does not happen in the heat of the moment or situation. We decide now, each day, how we are going to live.

Let’s have a made up mind,
and resolve,
to entrust ourselves to the Father’s plans.

 

 

Reflection: 
How do you maintain your focus, your resolve, to follow Jesus? In reflecting upon our Lord’s sacrifice, what new insights did you gain this Easter?

 

Image by Arnie Bragg from Pixabay

 

 

Still Good

  By: Lauren Thomas

I remember as a child failing to understand why they call it “Good” Friday. How could it be good if Jesus died. Of course, the irony is that Jesus’ death was good for us in that it provided atonement, or cleansing from sin.

 

But I know it couldn’t have felt good, on that day, for Jesus’ friends. In fact, the day following must have felt like the worst kind of terrible. What grief and confusion and doubt and disappointment and anger and sadness and disillusionment they must have felt.

 

God’s definition of “good” doesn’t always feel good as it’s being worked out. The first Good Friday and the first Holy Saturday must have felt far from good. And yet, it resulted in the best kind of goodness we could ever imagine: redemption and the promise of restoration, the happy ending creation has been longing for since sin entered in.

 

*Trigger warning* In a labor and delivery triage at just 14 weeks pregnant, I was told by a doctor that I was having an inevitable miscarriage. After the doctor left the room, I turned to my husband and said, “God is still good.” That moment marked the beginning of a long road: the testing of that assertion of faith. My pregnancy miraculously continued, until emergency c-section at 24 weeks 3 days. We then spent 149 days in the NICU. My baby had lived, but not the way that I would have planned. Though his life was preserved, the experience left me feeling broken. *End warning*

 

Is God still good? Even when it hurts?

 

Yes.

 

Because what Good Friday, and Holy Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday have taught me is that if it doesn’t seem good, it’s not over yet. Because the end is always Good.

 

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””

Revelation 21:3-5 ESV

 

Reflection:

Think of a time when you have questioned God’s goodness. How did you wrestle with your faith? How did you overcome doubt? What does this Holy Weekend teach you about the goodness of God?